Monday, December 19, 2011
Enchanting Iluisons...or realities
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
One step.
Instead of hiding and holding back, it was spoken. "No Mom I'm doing this because I want to, not because I need you please you. "What we talked about" is for my well being and if I don't do it, its on me." My inner self broke out. The best part my mom understood and agreed. Felt good <3
Saturday, December 10, 2011
a vent and a plan.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
I always thought I could lean on them. But apparently the others don't agree. They love me and they would do anything for me. I know it and I can feel it. But I don't give them the opportunity because I block myself from being a problem. I wont open up about my problems because I feel dumb and unimportant. Id I tell them something they're going to think im inexperienced and dumb. The stigma that I set to myself is detrimental because I can't feel important or better yet special. I feel like everyone around me can do what im doing and I have no value. But I don't know what to believe because I know I mean something...something. what a vauge pronoun.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
A lightweight?
Real or fake change.
Im a caretaker. I give and don't receive. Its always been easier that way. Im always been independent. Until now, I think...is it so bad to want an "you look beautiful tonight" or "your a good dancer" or even "can I get your number?" Why? Change is settling into my life and it wants be to be taught a lesson. Mother fer couldn't have you waited till college, make life easier, but no you must come now. I sorry change but I was happy being by myself not caring about boys or wanting the one want me but now I think about it a lot more. More than expected. And the worse what is I can't lie anymore and say im fine and being alone doesn't bother me. It starting too. What the hell? Pretend has always been my wall and it's worked. I felt safe and I even believed pretend, but today I don't know the difference between pretend and real? I guess its time to explore.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
I, You and Most
I didn't think it would hurt. I had prepared myself for this. Deep down, I knew this would happen. You used me. You didn't mean to cause me pain in anyway, I understand. In the end, you were searching for different purpose I was. Most told me to quit. Most said I had to set it straight. Already emotionally attached, most didn't know how bad.
Growing from this lesson is the next step. Learning to trust by better judgment launches my new path. Going into our adventure, I believed I could benefit positively from this experience. I benefiting through a different eye. Although not what originally planed, seeing the light feels great, a reminder when for the spilt second I get upset. I shouldn't have gotten upset. You learn and move on. Ill find better someday. Ill pretend it didn't hurt. That always works.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Senior Letter.
Monday, September 12, 2011
I am.
Others wrote:
- someone who cares
- reliable
- honest
- hard worker
- leader
- loving
- someone i look up too
- takes charge
- kind hearted
I have to remember what I wrote because I do still believe these values
I AM...
- a person who cares for others
- willing to help
- a friend who gives love and kindness
- a sister who trys to help shape a strong relationship
- a daughter who wants to help and relieve
- a student who is determined to learn and work towards achievement
- a team memeber who wants to contribute to the cause and stop the drama
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Sparks.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The unfinished year.
I picked a good place to stop. I never finished this bloggg but it makes me happy by just looking at it. i like blogging. Senior year is going to be epic! (:
Me,Myself, and I.
"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance"
That's going to be one hell of a romance (:
Waking Up
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Fake it till you Make it.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
How do you know?
I watched How Do You Know? today...we'll i haven't finished it but i got to thinking how do you know something is special? magical? I think I'm just to independent to try to find someone else to hold me. Is that bad? Am I wrong? Well ill just have it deal with it. But something I learned from a great friend...Life, it goes on....and I'm done thinking about the bad things.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
a new project.
Love,
Daisy (: