I've always believed I've been protecting myself from failure or hurt.That I can be strong enough to take care of myself and even others. I can hold up myself. Others have mention the fear of me falling right away and I didn't believe it. Yet now that I have this conditioned attention, I've realized how weak I am. Weakness in areas I could have swore to be as tight as nun's uh. But this new enlightenment has reminded me that learning will forever be in my life and to learn you must have control. Couples weeks ago, I could have said I lost all control of my life. I didn't know where I was going or what I wanted.I still can't see the lightbulb shining but it's dimming. The dim is all I need for the little control to grow. More and more control will mean more shine. I don't have to fall part. I can grow into a heavy weight! Haha(:
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