The unfinished year.

"Last first day of high school. What a mouthful! Its crazy. I loved the morning. I couldn't have thought of a better way to start out. Picked up my girls and we jammed on the way to Starbucks. It was amazing. (: Senior sunrise was whatever but hanging out was fun. Oh man best morning ever! School.....ehhhh it doesn't seem to bad but im going to burn some wood in 2nd. I don't think I can do it. Gahhhh like I want to get out but at the same time I know I can do it. Why is life dumb? Haha. Oh yeahhh and he was fine. I feel like nothing ever happened...."


I picked a good place to stop. I never finished this bloggg but it makes me happy by just looking at it. i like blogging. Senior year is going to be epic! (:

Me,Myself, and I.

It's hard to accept that you are the most important person in your life. You are in control. How I wish i could give the steering wheel to someone else. No, i take that back....Gahhh i don't even know what i want anymore. I unsure of what I want. I know I want to go to college. I want to become a good person, helpful, caring, loving. But, I'm so afraid of failing at it. I'm never good enough for myself. I think that's why I cant allow myself to go for a relationship. If you aren't good enough for you why be good enough for others. The other always deserves to receive a confident significant other. The problem is me. Me me me, I complain a lot about myself and I know it's because I don't feel worthy of myself. How do you feel worthy in life? Enlighten me. Please. What does worthy even mean? Being confident, Daisy. Saying "I belong here!" "I'm good at this" "I got this!" "Oh yeah!" Feeling happy. I felt happy this morning! What happened? Hahaha. I happened. I need to find my soul and passion and confidence......


"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance"

That's going to be one hell of a romance (:

Waking Up

The best sleep of my life. I love waking happy. It gives me the energy i need to get thought the hectic tasks. I cant complain because i love staying busy, but it gets overwhelming sometimes...most the time. But its worth it. Yeah its worth it. Especially when I wake up like i did. ALL happy. I love good moods. The day is going to be a good one. Its wednesday! Half way done with the week. (:

Fake it till you Make it.

I don't like not knowing what i can be or what I'm capable of. I don't like not being able to speak up for what i love. I don't like being unsure of what i want. I don't like waking up in the morning in a bad mood. I don't like that my confidence level goes on rollercosters. I don't like the way that I grow into the person i want to be...

I want to be able to be worthy of myself. I want to love myself like the ones around me do. I want to make choices that make me happy. I want to see the light in happiness. 

I love being happy. I love to dance. I love my girls. I love that I push all my worries away to focus other things. I love myself (even though I fake it sometimes) 

:)

How do you know?

So about after a week of being depressing and sick I finally go out. And this is different than your typical hangout with your girlfriends. Something in me knew it. It started out with 3. Hanging out with 3 can be awkward especially in this situation. 2 girls and 1 boy. Things get worse when one bails. Can you guess who bailed? Oh yeah. Well from this point I'm thinking that going to the movies...the drive-ins...could be weird....but its not weird unless you make it weird right. Right! Right? Well I went in with that mentality. Plant of the App's is what we saw so it wasn't one of thooose movies. Hahaha. Anywaysssss we got there. And well we cuddled a lot....well the whole movies expect the first ten minutes. It was fun. I kinda had forgot what it was like being hold by someone else because I never open up. I'm not good with awkward or weird. I just stay away. I swear when I grow up I'm going to need someone to deal with me because I'm not going to open up or try or anything. I soo screwed. Back to it. By the end, I didn't over analyze nothing. It was like nothing ever happened. I just stored it.

I watched How Do You Know? today...we'll i haven't finished it but i got to thinking how do you know something is special? magical? I think I'm just to independent to try to find someone else to hold me. Is that bad? Am I wrong? Well ill just have it deal with it. But something I learned from a great friend...Life, it goes on....and I'm done thinking about the bad things.